Im super stress!
Currently Single, Fallin for no one at the moment (or maybe avoiding)

T.T
my main worry is i have to move out at 21.
haiix
21?
where do i live?
with who?

I feel so insecure.
so unsafe..

I am not looking foward to my 18th birthday.
It marks a year closer to my 21st.
I don't want to grow up.

3 more years~

Where will i be?

What scares me the most is the bleak future ahead.

It seems to be thirsty to gush out and reach me..

Who can provide me with love, and a stable home?
Whoever you are, i know, that i will love you back.

Ok.
I’ve got no idea how to start this argument without sounding bias.
Hmm, ok let’s start it with.
I was sort of late for school today and everything.
Ok. Whatever, this sounds lame now.

Whoa. As everyone knows me, I am really not that “sweet-girl-next-door” kind of person.
But more of an observant, outspoken yet extrovert at times.
In a nutshell, I refuse to talk to people that don’t understand me.
If most clever people ever heard of the phrase: 知音说与知音听，不是知音莫与痰！
Yeah, means those things I wish to keep in private and tell them only to my closest buddy, I will only tell it to them. Not bitches and bastards whom ask about them randomly.

The incident happened today. I escaped Literature class with Xavier. Yeah we escaped, so what right?
I was prepared to serve detention the next day.
The utmost lame reason for the escape for me is, I’m coughing my guts out and I don’t feel like the co3 filled air is helping.
The reason for Xav’s escape is so that he can see his Yi shuai (who apparently, have no lessons today.)

But the thing is, Mrs. Catherine Wong from Millennia institute, our homeroom teacher, had to call our parents..

Get this most important information in to your heads ok?
->my sis, is like “its your responsibility”
->my mom, is like “ask your sis how she shall execute you for this CRIME” [yaya, I’m freezing right now]
->my dad is like “what in the third Reich happened?”

Xav’s mom was ok with it.

But Mrs. CATHERINE WONG FROM MILLENNIA INSTITUTE made me look bad.
She told Xav’s mom something definitely not true.
This is what she told Xav’s mom:
1. Kristal is a bad influence to Xavier. You should keep your son away from bad students.
2. Kristal is ALWAYS the one who gets Xavier into Trouble.
3. Kristal’s family background is very complex and she is complex herself.
4. Don’t let Kristal get your son into trouble. According to some of the classmates, she drags Xavier into all her problems.
Wow, I totally why MRS CATHERINE WONG from MILLENNIA INSTITUTE said such things! Let me explain why she said all those. And it is clear that Wong is just stereotyping.
• I am not a bad influence to Xavier! I ALWAYS remind him to study, to the extent; I don’t have time to study myself!
• When the fuck, did I get Xavier in trouble? Please list down below.
• So what if my family background is complex? It is so-> non-of-your-fucking-business!
MRS CATHERINE WONG, I know that you are pissed by the fact that I refuse to say anything more about my family, except the reason why I preferred to be called Kristal.
I know I don’t want to tell you!
The reason is simply because i think that such issues do not reflect on my studies do they?
I am sure that you just need a story to tell your other colleagues. WHATEVER!
And you know what? MRS CATHERINE WONG never fails to ASSUME what I am thinking.
Firstly, she would name what she thinks I thought about-
then she would ASSUME this and that happened.
Gullible! MRS WONG, I am not a book that you can read. I am not one of your fictional literature texts.
I don’t want you to know about it, doesn’t mean I have a dark secret.
It simply meant that, I don’t trust you and I want you to get out of my life other than those that involve school work.
I feel stupid that I have to tell a teacher to ACT PROFESSIONAL (when that’s her job to begin with ~)

I am sick with people telling me what the right decision is with everything~
i am sick of you losers out there..trying so hard each day to make a living yet put the blame on others.

Let me be frank for a moment!~

Firstly-
julian and yukai~
Both of u are equally as ugly
And have so much (bad) things in common
That-> no one is suprised u guys made the best buddies among each other!

In addition, u guys look so bad-
That, not only that both of u cannot make it, but ur friends around u get dumber as days pass by...
AND the reason is because they mix too much with DUMB FARKS like u !

SO-
Naturally, u should know, that both of u
Have NO RIGHTS to ask me to be ur girlfriend!!
And NO!!
i don't TAKE ORDERS from losers (neither do i to anyone else)
AND!!
Do not EXPECT me
to make a PUBLIC DECLARATION
stating that i am one of ur girlfriend!
i never was!! AND FARKING NEVER WIL BE.

In conclusion
To julian..
Get that cataracts of urs FIXED (get new EYES)
AND STARE AT THE 6-sided MAGNIFIED MIRROR!!
LOOK AT UR SELF CAREFULLY
BEFORE U FREAKING ASK ME
TO BE UR GURLFRIEND!!
And u know what?
-->STOP FLOODING MY INBOX!! I HAVE 130++ of UR FUCKING UNREAD MSGERS IN MY HANDPHONE<--

As a result,
pls critically comment on the PICTURE of julian below [[1 and a half pages ]]


Phew~ With that off my head-

NOW,
i don't know how i feel!
But i hope what i feel is not the feeling i want to feel!
i do not want to get hurt (yet again!~)

i can't sleep because of this!~
I think think think..Yet i think again!
Have i fallen for u ?
am i falling for u ?

BUT
i know...
it is not a practical decision..
Then again,
i question myself.
What is?!

My head wants me to
Stop Thinking of you
Forget u
Eradicate Your Existance in my Life

My heart wants me to
Think of you
Lock you in
Maybe even Love u
be my Pillar of support
Be my man..
And Keep me Secure in ur arms
[[Ain't that what Every girl wants?!]]

TMD-
I'm so damn moody now LAH~~
Suffering from a Fever
Clad with Problems [[fan naoT.T]]
Humped by insomnia~

i want to Rest!
I do!
But i can't close my eyes!
Because im afraid!Frightened! Frozen!
i am just unsure!!
i guess
whatever..

Cant Confide in Anyone..
I cant tell anyone ....

i feel so tainted..
weary..
stale...

To you.
i am an object

My purpose..
to give u pleasure..

My existance..
whenever u're lonely

My maintainance...(menses)
U forsake me for a week


Am i ur property?

Am i a person?

I bring u pleasure?

Am i a sex toy OR am i a Slut..?
Coz i know..
I dun earn a place in ur Heart
=)